Thanksgiving brings family together. And, despite our best intentions, family is a trip!

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. And I don't know about you, but it's about this time every year that I start gearing up to imagine and deal with all the possibilities of what could go wrong when the family comes together to "give thanks" for the blessings of having one another in our lives.

Now, I'm not knocking Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving! It's the one holiday that brings the entire family together – with all their/our eccentricities and conflicting views – in a confined space (because it's usually too cold outside to separate warring parties) with too much food, too much drink, and no place else to go for at least several hours.

Yep, I love Thanksgiving! It presents definite opportunities to appreciate where you came from and how far you've come (given where you came from).

Tell me: Are YOU looking forward to this year at your Thanksgiving gathering or is there someone in your family who:

– You always have to cover for at family feasts – for whatever reason?

– Can be counted on to say something inappropriate, or start an argument, or make it their challenge to stir up a hornet's nest?

– Seems unable to speak of anything but their aches, pains, ills, latest diagnoses and disgusting treatments (always at the dinner table), and equally unable to listen to what others have to say?

– Is always late for dinner, and expects everyone else to wait till they're in place?

– Isn't happy unless they're competing against – and beating – someone else?

– Finds it impossible to be thankful for anything?

How do you feel about all these things? How do you handle them?

As I said, family is a trip. And we willingly do this to ourselves every year! Go figure.

You know, though, there ARE things to look forward to as we look to Thanksgiving with family. Good things. Positive things.

Those things I just listed are opportunities for growth and change. Maybe it would help to think of them as challenges to be overcome.

In any case, let me tell you what I'm looking forward to. Maybe some of it will connect with you.

What I'm really looking forward to this Thanksgiving …:

– Discovering who has changed – how much and in what direction since I last saw them;

– The pleasant surprise of seeing who has aged and grown into "older" in a positive way;

– Learning how well I've done at letting go of the itchy irritations I've experienced some members of the family as having been to me (not that I had anything to do with it myself) . . . and realizing how well I've done at letting go of the tendency to focus on those irritations rather than the people they used to represent to me.

– Discovering how much more accepting and gracious I am this year in light of all the annoying tendencies to be found across the spectrum of family (wishful thinking is permitted, isn't it?);

– Knowing that I have grown – and continue to grow – into a more accepting and gracious person overall . . and recognizing that there's definitely still some distance for me to cover in that direction;

– Enjoying the unique characters and personality quirks that used to drive me up the wall, and hoping that I am open to learning what they have to teach me about the individuals who are blessed to carry them;

– Knowing that my own aging has shaped in me a new, more open, and less judgmental perspective on the individuals who form my "adopted" family (in fact, all the individuals who form all of my adopted families). I realize I still have some work to do on this one, too;

– Stories, cooking my mother's cornbread stuffing, and the laughter of old and new friends and family;

And, I look forward to having another opportunity to simply say "Thank You" for the gift of all I have.

Thanksgiving will be here before you know it. I wish you much for which to be thankful.

Are you thankful that you will be spending Thanksgiving with family? Or does the very thought of it make you cringe? Here are tips and a challenge for you to see this year's family gathering in a different light and actually come away having enjoyed the experience.

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